From youngest to oldest, personal reflections on our first year living in England

Alvin-

Written in his own words, edited ever so slightly for ease of reading

Our street, Honeysuckle, has a bunch of children even children all the way down the street like Tommy, Riley, Ed, Kiara…Usually we play hide n’ seek. But now we play home. Home is where we have a home and we live in it, I am the dad and Rebekah is the mom and we have powers. The children are Harriette and George. I always have electric powers and George always has nature power. With the powers I can make fire and George can turn into different animals so if he was a cat he can track down bad guys, it is fun! Another big difference is that they are more children here.

And there are more foot paths; it is like walking is our driving. Walking has made my legs feel stronger.

The food is also more protective (less sugar). There are also more shops that sell different types of foods. My favorite is a little coffee shop that sells cakes; it is only like a mile away.

In the last year I have learned that you can’t us kids messenger (Facebook kids’ messenger) because they (England) are more protected. And schooling is better because you are learning longer words like breathe, tumultuous, or magnificent.  They teach us French, but I don’t know French totally yet.

Mrs. Jones is a really cool teacher. She is a teacher at Stanmore Primary, she teaches Birch class. Mrs. Jones ALWAYS makes learning fun. Like one time someone was not looking at her and she went up to them and made a funny face and said “lally lally lally.”

In England I feel more respected, I have more friends, and there are more people that see me.

Tamara

England has grabbed me and shaken me to the core. But I had it coming, I did move here in the middle of a pandemic, pre vaccine. A year later and life here has changed me.

1/3 Just Pain Hard

The first third of the year was hard. Climbing the peak of the pandemic and dealing with the lows of lockdown. I had to learn to work through the stress. I imagine it as a tunnel to walk through, one step at a time, day by day and not a place to reside. We, Gary, Alvin and I, found solace in our adventure walks. Shops, restaurants, library everything was closed, so we walked. We discovered new paths admiring the old buildings along the way and took in the many rolling hills. With everything closed the neighbors opened their doors and kids came out play.

2/3 A Loosening Grip

The second third of the year the grip of the pandemic loosened. We got our vaccine. Shops opened and I thought hard about which errands were actually necessary versus manufactured to make my life busy. Do we really need a container for all the dog treats or is the box they have been in for the last six months good enough? Productivity=Purpose, right? Is this a revelation or midlife crisis? Or post pandemic life crisis? I started to really look at how I used to fill my days and how I will now, with a clean slate, use my time. I am more aware of where my day goes and slowly I have started to see the greater value of a long walk versus finding that perfect dog treat container. Or sitting in the middle of field just with my thoughts. Slowly I am learning these pleasures and having them be guilt free.

3/3 A New Normal

The final third of the year has evolved into a new normal. We are traveling and exploring as we had planned pre pandemic but with a new twist since they require a pre departure COVID test. With the ability to explore new places at my fingertips I realized I do not want to drink (alcohol). I turn away what use to be a regular beer. I want to be there for it all, I want to be more attuned with my life.  And a drink now is more of a setback since it will results in haziness the following day. Like I discovered during the second third of the year, time is precious and how we spend it is not something to be overlooked.  In my new world alcohol takes away from the ability to take in everything around me. Don’t get me wrong, I will not turn down a coworker’s invite to the pub, but I will make sure to just to have one because tomorrow I want to be able to run out the front door and take in a new adventures.

A year later…

A year later and I am slowly getting used to being happy and stress-free? England is that guy you cannot fall in love with because you know it will never work out, you have different plans for the future. But you just can’t help yourself, every time you look in a different direction he surprises you with yet another spectacular view or a hidden treasure. I smiled as I road into work the other day and a little orange chested robin brush against my helmet, as if to say hello.  Or the pop up Malaysian restaurant hidden within the walls of the Mucky Duck Pub.

I am not the same and I will never be. England has changed me. I have learned to sit in the front yard, watch the kids play, talk to the neighbors and to know that is enough. Those are the real treasures.

Gary

“What have you learned (learnt) in England over the past year?” This was the question posed to me after being here for 10 months. At first I thought ‘she must be working in metric years.’  But on further thought our adventure in England started quite a while before we landed here.

As we sat on our deck in Tacoma Washington last summer, the world in the grip of a deadly virus that still had no vaccine, my passport seemingly lost in a shutdown renewal system, Tamara with work visa in hand but all offices closed that could process mine and Alvin’s, we posed a question to each other: “is it the right time to move to England?”  It was a short discussion. More or less confirming out loud what we knew in our hearts.  We could wait out Covid just as well in England as we could in the U.S..

Keep in mind MANY of these “things I have learnt” are actually things I am learning or still fighting to accept. So don’t hold me hard and fast to lessons learnt.

Lesson One

Lesson One: My wife’s “crazy ideas” are not always all that crazy. Example? “I heard there is a visa office that has opened in the Columbia Center in Seattle. They have no phone, or any way to make an appointment online at this time. Tomorrow we are going up to Seattle and trying to get your and Alvin’s visas.”  (Seattle,: 725,000 people. Columbia Center: 76 stories, 1,500,000 sq ft) Long story short, it worked out, only because we went on that day, at that time.

On arrival in England, I have learnt to say learnt, instead of learned. There are a slew of other words that are either new to me or pronounced differently. You walk on the pavement, not the sidewalk. Aluminum is far to easy to pronounce, so let’s say aluMINium. Washing up liquid, not dish soap.The list goes on. You have to live it. It’s lovely.

Walking: People do walk here. If I’m walking the half mile to the grocery or mile and a half into town, I am not the only one. If it’s raining, you grab your brellie and your Wellies. (Umbrella and boots)

Lesson Two: Less is more

The house we are renting is about 45% the size of the one back home. The yard is half the size, at best. Despite needing updating and remodeling, the area is just fine. Our salaries have been cut in half and we only recently realized it. We are VERY comfortable.

Retirement

Retirement is a bit different than I thought. Not being a planner, I just figured I would take it as it came, when it came. I married a planner though. England is a perfect segue to the rest of my life. It has opened my eyes to a whole world of possibilities. I can move to another country and still be home.

I keep busy with house work, walking to the store and town and doing things within reason to the house we rent since the separated owners seem to argue over which of them should do it. So, I’ve learnt that after owning homes for so many years, it is not in my nature to rent.

Lesson 3: Holidays

Eggnog is not a thing here. Not a single carton at the local grocery during the holidays. I got an idea…’Starbucks has egg nog lattes. I’ll see if I can get some there.’ No. They have a local dairy that makes batches special for them and they do not sell them. I also made hot butter rum batter last year. It was new to everybody I introduced it to. Thanksgiving? Nope! Want fireworks? Forget about Fourth of July, try Guy Fawkes Day.

But the true lesson…

But the biggest thing I learnt was that 4,500 miles away from where I spent the first 61 years of my life, I had a community full of incredible friends waiting for me to find them. As my brother Dave said, “it’s like you went off to college.”